The Balance of Change and How to Work with It

If you have been following me for a while, you know that I love to collect pictures of the lotus flower. I love to garden and most plants and flowers I’m taken with, but am especially fond of lotus flower because of its courageous story. It begins as a tiny hard seed that is planted in the depths of mud under murky water. The seed has to sprout down in these dark depths and push its way up through adversity, finally rising out of the mud and water to reach the sun. Then a beautifully pristine flower opens to be all it can be. Can you see the parallel with our life? During those moments when I feel stuck, as if I’m standing in the mud I think of my beautiful lotus flower and almost instantly I feel my strength and resolve return, and I open to the sun to be all I can be.

As you work to develop yourself becoming more, doing more and accomplishing more, change is an inevitable byproduct of self development. As you embrace change and except that both negative and positive change serves your highest good, you’re able to reach a state of gratitude that empowers your life.

Balancing positive and negative changes in your life is imperative if you and your spouse, your partner, your children want to experience new levels of personal achievement. If you’re too positive sided feeling prideful you will attract people and circumstances in your life to bring you back down. Alternatively if you’re too negative sided, you’ll invite people and circumstances in your life to bring you back up. In either case the universal/natural laws will always be working to bring you back into a state of balance. It’s how we’re wired. When you’re too polarized to one side or the other you will feel tossed about, terrified and grasping for air like a fish out of water.

If you’re dissatisfied with your current life circumstances then you must consider Einstein’s famous quote of insanity which is “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” If you’re not willing to make changes in your life: then it’s a given that you will not see anything significant showing or changing, good or bad. You will be living the status quo essentially flat-lining.  Begin today by looking deep within yourself and asking what you truly would like to do, be and have. Write down the answers that come to you from inspiration and begin building your action plan by implementing the change to live the life you desire.  The fact that you’re reading this is a step towards change.

Just the mere mention of the word change can bring up fear.  It’s not so much that we fear changing for the good, but many don’t realize that what our perceptual equipment reports as a negative change almost always comes packed with hidden blessings. Change isn’t necessarily good or evil until we label it as such.

CLICK TO TWEET! Here’s today’s tweetable:

Balancing positive and negative changes in your life is imperative for personal achievement. @DonnaVail

Three types of fear:

1) Expectation of Loss

2) Expectation of Pain

3) Expectation of Outcome Pain

Being centered means having balanced awareness of these three points so you can navigate more effectively and efficiently.



If your focus is on these pains and the fear travels in different areas of your life enough, you will live in fear of change. This is when you feel and experience being locked up and unable to proceed. So when fear statements show up for you, simply do the turn around on each of them.

Take the statement “What if this doesn’t work out?” and change it to “What if it gets me another step closer to my goal?” Think about how you will be smarter, happier, more secure, well rounded, more valuable and have new and better opportunities as a result. You’re not lying to yourself or being overly optimistic, you’re simply making a choice and going in the direction of your desired outcome. This type of reframing is imperative otherwise you will kill your motivation and lose all inspiration.

How Do We Tame Our Fears?

Above I shared with you an example and a reframing you can apply to other situations as well. There are more solutions to navigating through the fear that shows up and this takes more time and space than what we have here. I want you to be successful so I’ve gone into great depth in my More for Mom Life Mastery Coaching Program.

Take time to pause and reflect, really think through what’s happening, what’s working and not working, so you can adjust by eliminating those things that no longer serve you, freeing you up to do more of what it will take to get you to where you want to be. Once you are letting go of the pain, you are mastering your fate and have decided to look at change as something that bring you to the next level. You will even get to the point of welcoming change and seeing changes as pleasurable because you know you’re getting ever closer to your desired outcome and you are in gratitude for everything that shows up. You’ve become accountable for your life and you see both sides to every situation.

Mom Inspired to Action:

  • Be honest with yourself when change comes and fears arise. See it for what it is and move through it. Be bold!
  • Be willing to take chances on your dreams, give your best efforts and do something that counts.
  • Set yourself up to work with a mentor to help you navigate to where you want to be and whatever obstacles arise during the process. Choose someone who is the best match for you, who has children and has been where you are and has gone where you want to go.


So here’s my vision. Let’s crowd together, be honest and support each other as moms because we all deal with fear and change on a daily basis. What wisdom do you have to pass along?

I really want to hear from you! So make sure and leave a comment below.

Thank you for always reading and sharing.

Be on the lookout for more emails from me as I’m getting ready to share my free More for Mom Tele-seminar and I’m super excited to be with you there.

Peace and love,


more for mom banner




 About Donna Vail

Donna Vail, Education and Parenting Specialist, is founder of An Inspired Education and the Mentor Mastery Inner Circle, the proven step-by-step program dedicated to maximizing the success in the human potential through homeschooling and life mastery for the whole family. She creates educational programs for homeschool children, “after-school” study programs for public schooled children and personal development for moms, while homeschooling her five children. Get free tips and resources from Donna Vail at:

Speak Your Mind